Is "Your Story" Holding You Back?Feb 07, 2017
Whether we recognize it or not, we all have beliefs about our place in the world and what we are capable of.
It's these beliefs--the "story" you tell yourself--that determine more than anything else what you accomplish in life.
In my work, I have the good fortune to work with really smart, successful clients who want more--to stretch themselves in some way.
As we work on upleveling their outcomes, we almost always have to uplevel their beliefs about themselves first.
Here are some signs that your story might be holding you back from what you really want:
1. Do you keep repeating patterns?
For example, do you keep finding yourself unable to set boundaries with forceful personalities at work? Do you take on big, highly visible projects but then never quite finish them?
There's a deeper issue at play here.
2. Do you see others who are achieving what you want, and you know you're just as capable, so you're frustrated that you can't figure out why?
3. Do you beat yourself up for your mistakes or overly dwell on negative feedback?
Ironically, one or more of these signs are usually present in what I call "insecure overachievers."
These are highly accomplished, smart people who have already gone quite far in life, by all objective measures.
But they plateau at a certain level until they can upgrade their self-concept to move beyond the obstacles in their way.
For example, you may notice that you keep stalling out at a certain level of responsibility and can't seem to move up.
It could be that at your core, you believe that would make you unlikeable and you would damage relationships that are important to you.
Or perhaps you believe that you don't deserve a certain level of success; that it's only reserved for other people.
The good news is, when you are aware of these signs and resolve to overcome the outdated beliefs that no longer serve you, you're able to go far beyond what you envisioned.
And not only is this completely do-able, it's also incredibly empowering.
If you suspect there's something internally holding you back, you're probably right. But don't stay in the victim role too long.
Seek the counsel of a trusted, straight-shooter friend to hash it out. Work with a skilled coach to help you root out those old beliefs and upgrade them with really empowering ones. Do whatever it takes to transform what you believe is possible for you.
When you transform your relationship with yourself, you transform your world.